Music for the Soul

A is getting to where she can play chords on the piano to go with fiddle tunes! If they print the chords, and the chords don't change super fast, she can come up with a piano part while I play the tunes on either violin (fun but not so beautiful) or cello (sounds way better, but just not a fiddle). And M can keep a good beat with his drum. 

My chamber music playing has really dropped off, to about once every month or two, and on the one hand I really miss it, but I also kind of don't. I don't miss the time it takes out of my week, that is. When I'm playing, I wish I could do it every day, but then when it comes to actually scheduling something, I seem to put if off. I keep telling myself that when the kids get older and I have lots of time, I'm going to devote myself to playing chamber music. In the meantime, there is so much fun to be had with fiddle tunes and folk songs and just simple fun stuff. 

So this is my latest resolution--to pull out all our different instruments and try to get my husband and kids to play with me. It is just so much fun. We've got a lot of instruments sitting around this house, we need to put them to more use!

Obama!

In my lifetime, I haven't seen much in the U.S. that I'm especially proud of. When I think of what we've given the to world, the things the leap to mind are consumerism; the value of profit over everything else; lack of concern for the environment and the natural world; a belief that we have the right to bully smaller, less powerful people in order to maintain the profits of our powerful corporation and the people who profit from them and our wasteful lifestyle. In graduate school, my best friend, who was Israeli, used to point out that I'm very American, whether I like it or not. That my rather intense need for independence, my work ethic (work at the expense of health and happiness), and my tendency to be polite, yet distant, were all classic American. I don't know that these are my best traits.

However, I just watched Obama's speech about race, and discovered something that I think the U.S. has given the world that is truly for the better. He said that among his siblings, cousins, and extended family, he is related to people of all races and classes. His family was a blend of Africa, Indonesia, and White America, and he married into a family of Black Americans. This is where the U.S. is ahead of the game. I don't have any data to back this up, but I believe that the U.S. has lead the way in recognizing value in diversity. It hasn't gotten through to all corners of the U.S., of course, but in my lifetime, I've seen big changes in how normal it looks to see people hanging out together that have a range of skin tones. I now expect that the people I interact with in the course of the day will be different from me in some external way(s), and I love how little that interferes with us working together and being together.  I think there has been real progress on this front the the past 30 or 40 years. 

This is inspiring. I do like feeling that the U.S. has brought something positive to the world in my lifetime. And there is, of course, more to be done, and it underlies much important work. I really believe that the more people in the U.S. can see the fundamental truth that we're all in this together, the more good can be done. I'm no longer undecided on who I want for President. I do think there is a difference between Clinton and Obama, and I think Obama has more to offer this country, because he really sees how connected we all are. I really see what he means when he says that his life is about bring people together. I thought he was talking about Republicans and Democrats, and read between the lines that this meant capitulating to the Republicans. But now I believe that he's talking about recognizing our connections with everyone else in this country and the broader world. This is a message I deeply believe in.

The only discouraging thing is that I have a perfect record for voting for a losing candidate. Aargh!

Too much of a Good Thing?

A is a classic oldest child: responsible, mature, disciplined. These are good qualities that I so appreciate. Every once in a while I get a little twinge, though, wondering if I've corrected her too much, allowed her to be exposed to too much discord between my husband and I. The other night my husband was mad, and then I was mad that he was mad. I started grumpily cleaning the kitchen. A saw all this, and asked if I wanted any help cleaning up. I did, and I put her to work, but I wondered if this was normal for an 11-year-old. 

She done that several times--noticed that I was working and not very happy and offered to help. Is it OK for a kid to be that tuned in to the emotional climate around her? Usually when I'm cleaning, I enlist A and M to help. Maybe when I'm not in a good place emotionally I don't ask for their help, and that gets A's attention? But actually, I do know that she is acutely aware of the emotions of those around her. It is upsetting for any child for their parents to be mad at each other, or even just unhappy about some random thing. I do like the fact that she is thoughtful and willing to pitch in and help. I sure hope she doesn't feel like it's her job to cheer me up when I'm not happy, though.

A Little Sympathy, Please!

A and I are coughing and blowing noses and generally feeling suboptimal. Poor M had this cold earlier this week, his 4th or 5th cold this winter, not to mention the stomach bug he had early on. Or maybe it has only been a couple of colds with several relapses, I don't know. In any case, when he claimed to be getting a cold earlier this week, I was sick of him being sick and cranky, and I thought he just didn't want to go to gymnastics. Needless to say, I wasn't very sympathetic. Then he started coughing and coughing and it dawned on my that, yes, he was truly sick. Just because I'm running out of sympathy, that doesn't mean he feels fine. So now I'm feeling cruddy, and I hope people are nicer to me about it than I was to him! 

But M has bounced back and is feeling fine now, fortunately. He just dashed downstairs excitedly and said: "Mom! I just put in another Winnie the Pooh CD and its all these poems!! Pooh did them! You know, James James who lost his mother, and the one about lines and boxes, and Halfway up the Stairs--all your favorites! You've got to listen to this CD. You'll love it." Then he ran upstairs and got the CD for me. You see? I am getting much better treatment than he did.

A Lovely Winter's Day

Even though spring has arrived here, according to all the beautiful pink trees and daffodils and daphne and red-flowering current bushes, today felt wintery. The repeated/lingering cold that M has been fighting pretty much all winter seems to be back, with lots of hacking and nose blowing. We ended up not having science club here today, and we actually overslept and missed A's piano lesson (I can't believe we did that! I've never done that before). So we had neither of our usual Friday activities.

But it occurred to me today that we humans are meant to hunker down in the winter and stay home. At least those of us who aren't that close to the equator. It seems like I spend all winter fighting the urge to stay home, and all summer out of doors. Surely this is how our ancestors lived--hunkered in during the winter, working on quilts and clothes, repairing tools, eating soup and stew, reading, going to sleep early. Today was one of those days here. A and I ran a few errands, but mostly we hung around and did schoolwork, read, made a delicious black bean soup for dinner and ginger snaps for dessert. After dinner we watched a movie, read On the Banks of Plum Creek, and called it a day. This was my kind of winter day.

OK, tomorrow, no excuses, I have to get some exercise. I seriously have to work off those ginger snaps!

P.S. I got the black bean soup recipe out of the current issue of Cook's Illustrated and it was incredibly delicious. I don't think I can post here, since I followed their recipe almost exactly, and they aren't giving it away for free. I definitely recommend it, though, if you come across it. It has ham in it, but it has lots of other seasonings and loads of flavor, so I imagine it would be very good without the ham.

Here is A's first knitting effort, all done. Looks pretty, eh? I think it turned out really well, and I love the yarn she chose. I made one just like it, but more greenish. Now we've both managed to cast on and knit, and yesterday I figured out how to bind off. Woo hoo! I don't have much confidence yet for anything beyond a hat and scarf, and I'm not sure how many hats and scarves we can really use, but I'm excited, nevertheless. I have many knitting pros among my friends, so A and I are in good hands, in any case.

I just signed A and I up for an on-line Brave Writer course called KidsWrite Basic. I linked Brave Writer to her blog, because I think you get a better idea of her philosophy from her blog than her website, which is more nuts-and-bolts. A likes to write and frequently ask for help from me in the way of structure ("Let's have journal-writing time every day. You just say it's time and set the timer, and then we'll write for at least 10 minutes") or subject ideas ("I think you should have me work on an essay. What do you think I should write about?"). Unfortunately I've failed her on both accounts, so I'm hoping this course will not only give us some good ideas for improving A's writing, but will also help me give it the attention A is wanting and needing. 

M is a happy unschooler, though he does tolerate some mom-imposed math and reading (in small doses). He loves science, and I've started bookmarking websites for him that show science video clips, which he'd do all day if I let him (with a few Underdog and Tennessee Tuxedo cartoons thrown in from YouTube, thanks to his pop!). Here are some of his sites he's gotten a lot of mileage out of: Scenes from Nature, Robert Krampf, Newton's Apple, and Wired Science. And speaking of science, here's why it takes M an hour to do the dishes:

One day it is bubbles in glasses, another is spinning plates on top of the water, another is trapping air in glasses, it's always something. And water is always stone cold by the time he's done.

Adjustments

Events have conspired, and it is time to make some minor adjustments in our routines and way of life. First, we have some debt to pay off, since we fixed our bathroom and bought a new (used) car. We've had a mortgage for a long time, but I don't think we've had any debt since we paid off my student loans about 5 years ago. It is hard to figure out where to cut corners, since it seems like all we spend money on is food, but we spend way too much money on food, so surely we can find ways to save on food. 

I know that good quality, local and/or organic foods are a luxury to many, but it is bigger than that. It fits with my larger values about minimizing our impact on the earth, about giving my money to operations that have a social conscience, rather than huge agribusiness operations that are stripping away the topsoil, dumping toxins into our water system, displacing smaller family-run farms, and treating animals inhumanely. This just doesn't feel luxurious--it feels like the right thing to do. But, we do have to get our bills payed. 

And another change I'm just not yet totally comfortable with--we're now a two car family, and, OMG, I think our new car is an SUV! Its a small one, but it sure is shaped like and SUV. This is a shock to my system, but I'm trying to get used to the idea. Ack, what have I become!? And, there's another adjustment, other than the emotional one of getting used to being a two-car family. Now I don't have to walk to work, which used to give me 6 hours of walking each week and was my only real exercise. I love walking, and I often had lovely walks home with some friends from work. On the other hand, it didn't feel so safe to walk in the morning, so I'm glad I don't have to do that anymore. Plus, I'm glad that my commute time has gone from 2 hours per day to about 25 minutes per day. Surely I can find a way to get some exercise in the extra 1-1/2 hours I now have on my work days. Trouble is, I'm going to need to exercise on my non-work days too, to make up for losing all those miles of walking.

OK, I'll cope with having two cars, I can find a way to exercise despite losing my walk to work. I'm sure we'll find ways we can cut back on our grocery bills. I think of myself as someone who likes change, but I guess I like small changes, like taking a new job in the same organization where I've worked for about 12 years (not actually moving to a new organization), or re-arranging the same old furniture, or updating a bathroom (not moving to a new house), or switching from bike-riding to walking to work (not getting a second car). Woo-hoo! Boy, I am getting old, aren't I?

Italy, Siblings, and Knots, Oh My!

We have a thing with Italy going right now at my house. We're reading aloud a wonderful memoir of a boy growing up in the Abruzzo region of Italy (pretty much right in the middle of the country, up in the mountains) in the 1950s. When we was four years old he was sent off to live with his kindly and fairly well-off uncle, who was a priest, and although he missed his immediate family, he had some wonderful and funny adventures, mostly of his own making. At times he is deliciously naughty in funny ways, and he always seems to pay an appropriate price for his misdeeds. The kids eat up the stories of trouble he gets into. 

So now we're eating Italian cheese and listening to Italian language tapes and looking at Italian art and just generally speaking with fake Italian accents whenever we can get away with it. In one chaprter, the boy, Mario, takes art lessons from an old man in a nearby village. This teacher shows him how to combine things like plants and rocks and bugs with resin and oil to make brilliantly-colored paints. We are determined to try this ourselves. We know of a couple of places to look for tree sap, so next time we have a free day we're going to hit a known sap source and see what we can come up with. 

I've also been reading Cheaper by Dozen, which is a fabulous read-aloud. This book was also part of the inspiration for the Italian language tapes, plus A also wrote out flashcards for all the squares up to 25 x 25, in a nod to the Gilbreth family. A, who is already disappointed with the size of our family, is now feeling even more deprived at having only one sibling. Rather than talk my ear off about it, as she has in the past, now she just sighs when I put down the book, and with a trembling lip, asks: "If the parents of any of our friends die, can we at least adopt them?"

M is trying his hand a knot-tying tonight, which somehow seems like a natural progression from paper airplanes (don't ask me why). I tried to set him up with knitting, but it didn't really grab him. He found a page of knots in a dictionary, and tonight we found some printable instructions for a bunch of knots. He took the instructions and some string upstairs to bed with him, so we'll see in the morning if he could make any sense out them.